1 year later...
One year ago today we lost our pretty girl, Nina. It still brings tears to my eyes just as I sit here and write it. A year ago today was the most horrible day, it pains me just go back and think about it. I know that when someone close to you passes, people tell you to think about all the good memories and so forth, but sometimes all I can think about is not being able to bring her back home with me on that dreadful day and feeling a hole being carved out of my heart as the vet approaches us and apologizes, saying it was 'time' for us to say our goodbye. I am aware that she was seventeen years old and I was very lucky to have most of my life, but with that being said I had her for seventeen years! I grew up with her, through my teenage years, she was there, when I met my husband, she was there, when I got married, she was there. She was a piece of me and I was not going to be able to have her come home with me. I always knew the day would come when I would have to say my goodbye, but it just seemed unimaginable, until a year ago today. This past year, has been a pretty rough one, but luckily we have our pups Rocky & Chiki to keep us smiling. I understand Nina was with us for a long time and I was very lucky to have her in my life, its just really hard to see her pictures and think about those memories of when that picture was taken. Nina lived a very long and happy (spoiled) life, and I couldn't be happier to have had her in my life. Just the other day, as I opened the fridge, I smiled (I keep a picture of Nina on on Fridge) and I say to my husband, "I can't believe it's going to be a year, that Nina hasn't been with us." He responded with, "we miss her everyday, but I think you have accepted the fact that she lived a long and happy life with us, you are no longer upset that she is not with us because you accept that she was seventeen, and we wouldn't want her to suffer just so we can be comforted she was still here for our sake." Wow, he was right! When Nina passed, she woke up that morning not feeling very good, immediately I knew something was wrong, but part of me was in denial. Just the day before we went for a walk, it was beautiful and sunny outside, she was cruisin' around in her doggy stroller with her brothers on each side (see pic below). That is the memory I want to keep, not the one from one year ago today.